melancholy

rain falling in threads
rain falling in drops
meandering between a dark sky
and a day dream,
the melancholy of solitude,
keeps on getting the better of me
the ceaseless sermon
of winter rain,
infinite loneliness of an
indefinite existence,
bored and sad,
i can see
silhoutted against this
sheet of vapour
the futility of
my hollow dreams
sun in my head
i will dream of you
even though i know
when summer comes,
i will be alone..

a lack of color

in the dimming light,
of a november evening
i stood with your hand in mine
cheeks flushed with a fever
i didn't know,
head spinning,
in the pale light
i saw your face
i looked into your eyes
i didn't know
whether to hold on
or let go
a second felt
like an eternity,
the warmth of your hand
i didn't want to lose..
shades of black and white,
and your eyes
in the opaque light,
seemed like a strange dream,
but i didn't mind
the lack of color..

niji no megami

quite reflections,
on a still and tepid day,
windless calm,
and russet dreams.
a languid leaf falls,
a wayward ripple,
spreads across the water,
and slowly dies at my feet.
contorted thoughts,
inane regrets,
pass through my mind.
only to fade..
i look up at the sky.
there is a rainbow,
there will be rain.
a drop of water,
lands on your face,
i can see the ripples.
even the sky is busy..

su ki da

lonliness and clouds,
melancholy light,
mutes my tired heart.
somewhere nearby,
the sound of water,
a stream towards the sea,
in the evening sky,
a few crows..
the 'hinagiku' in my hand
i plucked for you,
have withered..
you didn't come.
its a long walk back.
i lie down on the wet grass,
a cicada singing.
i know that song.
i softly hum to myself.
su ki da..
su ki da..

solitude

it was a mellow autumn sunset,
there was not a cloud in the sky,
the first leaves had only just begun to fall,
a fair breeze was blowing,blowing from the east
and the sun's fading rays were warming the world..
there was not a soul to be seen,
and even though i strained my ears nor was there a voice to be heard,
there was only silence,
enchanted silence..
slowly the colours changed,
changed from blood red to enigmatic blue,
mellow dusk gave way to sombre night,
i stood alone,
alone in the autumn twilight,
and i dreamed,
i dreamed of you..

summer storm

the wind picked up,
it blew the dust,
the trees bent
and windows rattled
as the crows flew for cover
deserted roads and empty spaces
the storm before the calm..
the clouds painted the sky black
brown leaves swirled in archs
and doors shut with a bang..
deserted roads and empty spaces
the storm before the calm..
the wind picked up,
the sky opened up,
and it rained..
i wish life were a song
you were right,i was wrong,
alone on a lonely evening,
i thought of everything you would say,
and my heart was like the sky on a stormy day..

darjeeling

happiness?
what is happiness?
isn't it somewhat vague?
when am i happy?when i'm alone?i don't know..

i guess i've never been happy.i guess noone is ever perfectly happy.two sides of the same coin,happiness and pain.everything is relative in this world.pain gives a sense of belonging to happiness.if you know pain,only then can you be happy.

but what the hell am i talking about?
up on this ridge,6500 feet high,among deodhars that gently rustle in this cold wind,i know what happiness is.kanchenjunga is silhoutted against this austere november sky.i can see the play of colours on the snow.the five treasures of the great snows,i can see why they call the mountain that.the greatest treasure in the world is happiness,even if for a trivially small span of time..
and i'm perfectly happy,up here above the clouds.
the only other time i've felt so light headed and elated is after meeting you.my other great treasure is my love for you.its almost as beautiful and its even more fragile than you are..

beauty

the world is a very beautiful place.every sunrise that i witness,every sunset that i feel,every cloud that i see wandering through the endless sky echoes this belief.on threesome nocturnal walks in dimly lit lanes,in the lap of perfect solitude when silence speaks volumes,when there are no complexities in life,the world seems a very hospitable place.on rare rendezvous with myself,when there are no lies,the world seems very straight forward,very honest.but it is on rare circumstancial meetings,when time stands still,that i can truely feel the beauty.i can understand the scheme of things in this world.and on those trivially tumultous occasions when gold is silhoutted against bronze,for that infinitely insignificant moment
i have visions of immortality.everything makes perfect sense.there is unerring symmetry in this inherently incoherent world.
perhaps i'm going insane.obsession is a very dangerous thing,but you are so intensely beautiful,so piquantly eccentric,its heart wrenching.when i'm with you,seconds become minutes;minutes,hours.i believe i could sit there watching you for all eternity.i hope you realise this one day.not that i love you,but the fact that you inspired me to write this.perhaps some day,down the line,i'll see this and quitely smile at myself,and you'll ask me-what's that smile for?and i won't say a thing.i'll keep smiling and draw you close and get lost in beauty..




disclaimer-
the author strongly stresses that this wasn't written with anyone particular in mind.it is entirely a work of the author's herculaen imagination with which,he has,so obviously been richly endowed..

autumn

he stood alone,alone in the fading twilight of an autumn evening.the sun was still dimly visible above the horizon,its last rays were falling on the oak beneath which he stood.the whole world seemed to be painted in myriad hues of orange.and alone though he was,he couldn't help but gladden at that magnificent sight.the last rays of the sun seemed to touch his very essence,his very soul,they seemed to warm his cold features just a little bit. he could feel the ice thawing somewhere deep inside.but he resisted.he had sworn never to be fooled again.never again to make the same mistake.oh how he had suffered,suffered all that pain.he shuddered at the very thought of it.the wind started to pick up.the leaves rustled and he stood and listened,hoping to hear those voices he had long forgotten,voices which had spoken to him of hope and love,voices which had fooled him.he didn't hear them.the thawing ice started to freeze again.the sun was all but gone now,only a austere but fading red was all that remained .he turned around,reminded himself that this was for the best.his road was clear .not a speck of doubt remained in his mind and not a hint of strain in his heart.the brown leaves crackled beneath his foot as he started walking,but suddenly he stopped.he had heard a sound.it was unmistakable.it was a sound he hadn't heard since he was a boy of thirteen.the wind picked up again,and this time when the leaves rustled,he listened and he heard.he heard that voice,that voice he had managed to forget,he heard her voice.the red of the sky had given way to the black of night and the first flakes of snow rested on his shoulder.he turned around and started walking,determined not to stop this time.but he was happy.with her voice in his head,a faint smile on his cold lips and his footprints in the snow,he left.